Lost

I have a friend who lost her son some seven weeks ago

She's lost upon an ocean

Adrift upon a sea

Of loss and pain and sorrow

And quiet memory.

I have a loved one lost to me but she's not dead, you know

She's baking up some cupcakes

And entertaining friends

Decorating tables

Who knows how this one ends?

There is not one hour I do not long for her to one day show

We'd kill the fatted calf

And open up some wine

And live and love and laugh

The party would be fine.

He's gone but not forgotten

Dead but more alive.

I've an amputated family-

How will I survive?

My friend is looking forward,

But I am looking back...

I wonder how we got here-

How we got so off track.

I wonder how to fix it

I know they do not know

That I am dying slowly

Heavy-hearted as I go.

No Need to Weep

"Why are you weeping, Mary, dear soul?"
"Why shed those tears like you're broken in two?"
Desperate, your life has spun out of control
As angels in white pose this question to you.

"Why do you weep, Woman?" said the man there.
"Whom do you seek?  Who's been taken away?"
My Lord and my God, Who is nothing but Fair
Oh, where have you laid Him, please tell me I pray!

Mary stood weeping outside of the tomb.
The angels  like lightning were whiter than snow-
They said,"He has risen! He's not in this room-
See where He lay then tell others you know."

Mary stood weeping, but there was no reason!
She was not aware what was settled that day.
Jesus had suffered for only a season,
His death on the cross was the triumphant way.

Our lives, like the weather, feel sunshine and showers, 
Then lightning and earthquakes shake us to the core.
When evil befalls us, we long for the flowers -
Weeping, our hearts to the Lord we outpour.

"Mary." The Lord said her name.  She stopped weeping.
She clung to him, marveling, and then she just knew!
There's no need to question and be so discouraged-
Fix your heart on the Gardener; HIS Word's always true.

All things are invariably changing, I'm told
A Christian is seldom a long time at ease
Life's as fickle as weather, and I'm getting old
And I figure I can now live life as I please.

When life sends its snags I am tempted to cry out 
And fall to the depths of despair as I weep;
But Jesus has never forsaken, nor left me
And He always has a great promise to keep.

There's no need for weeping or sadness or sorrow!
My Lord's on the throne, in the midst of my pain;
I know that all joy will be coming tomorrow
I've nothing to fear, only heaven to gain.

November Moon

The moon is small and bright in the night sky this November evening.  Right above it is a pinprick of brilliant light, the planet Jupiter.  To the right of the moon is Aldebaran, a massive sun visible to the naked eye, even though it is 62.5 light years from us.  A quick search online gave me some pictures and the following quotes.  The poem came after pondering the beauty of Creation.

"At any one instant there is always a sunrise somewhere on Earth, a sunset somewhere on Earth, noontime somewhere on Earth and a midnight somewhere on Earth. Also, at the instant of full moon, there is always a sunrise somewhere on Earth, a sunset somewhere on Earth, noontime somewhere on Earth and a midnight somewhere on Earth." ~ Bruce McClure

 "...the full moon occurs at the same instant worldwide, despite the differences in what the clock has to say at various time zones. The moon is full when it’s most directly opposite the sun for the month." ~Bruce McClure

Sunrise, sunset, somewhere on earth,

The heat of noon, the cool of night.

A rooster crows, a baby cries,

While mom and dad put out the light.

It's always sunrise on this earth

It's always sunset, too.

But full moon happens instantly

The same for me and you.

Jupiter's a pinhole bright

Breaking into eternal light.

Aldebaran isn't near

Nor near as small as it appears.

I ponder as I catch my breath

Black velvet pierced by planet's place;

And softer, next is reddish hue

of bigger sun than warms my face.

Each one is born and each one dies

just like the sunset and sunrise.

But when we pass though that dark day

The FULLEST MOON will light our way.

Notes written on the death of my mother.

...she's not breathing, but her heart is still beating.  I hold the phone to her ear.  Lorne talks to her.

Her heart slowly stops.  She's peaceful.  I'm so glad her battle is over.  She's so tired.

The nurse comes in.  She check's Mom's pulse.  She checks her pupils - they are dilated.  She is gone.  It's 9:15.

We cry.  We are so sad.  Yet, relieved.

We pack her things.  I feel so strange, packing up Mom's belongings.  It's almost a violation of her affairs.  We can't find Mom's wedding ring.

We wait for Ron.  Rick comes and helps me carry everything to the trunk of the car.

Finally, Ron and Laura arrive.They don't wish to see Mom's body.  They'd rather remember her alive.

Rick and I go back into the room to get my purse and jacket, and Mom's cane.  I kiss her goodbye.  She's cool now.  I am reluctant to leave.  I feel like I should do something.  I want to take care of her.  I don't want to abandon her.

I leave, feeling a great sense of loss and loneliness.  I'm sorry, Mom.  I know you're not in there.  That body is an empty shell.

Goodbye, Mom.

God speed.

I love you.

Flowers in November

Sydneian showers

Of sweet discourse, whose powers
Can crown old Winter's head with flowers.
   ~Richard Crashaw Wishes to his Supposed Mistress

Passing all wisdom, or its fairest flower.
   ~Richard Horne, Orion

Shed no tear -- O shed no tear!
The flower will bloom another year.
Weep no more -- O weep no more!
young buds sleep in the root's white core.
   ~John Keats Sonnet, On Seeing the Elgin Marbles

I gaze out the window on this dreary November morning.  The first snowfall of 2012 is contrasted with a geranium and a Christmas cactus in bloom.  Oh, how my heart sings!  Old Winter's head is crowned with fairest flowers, a promise of spring to come.

Pink and pretty, coral and green
Loveliest sight these eyes have seen
at Winter's beginning, a morning so drear-
Short days approaching, a dull time of year.
I gaze out my window, thankful for snow
That covers the garden, the weeds and the hoe-
Mocking reminder; summer is spent.
Winter is here now.  I feel discontent.
Yet,
The Lord is so lovely, so good and so fair
Like flowers in winter, He dresses with flair
The humblest of cacti, geranium too
I see not just flowers.  I look and see YOU.
Oh, Lord, how You bless me
With wonder anew,
with flowers in winter,
with visions of You!
Astonishment follows
I ponder Your love-
And delight that You give me
Good gifts from above.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. ~ James 1:17

Heartbreak

How many ways can a heart  be broken?

How many times can it be chopped in two?

How often I've cried out to God for our healing,

But still I am finding myself blocked from your view.

Child of my womb, how I long to see you

To understand all that you're going through.

Even though I would certainly die in a moment

To save you, our family life is askew.

The barriers, walls, confinements and cells

Have blocked us from talking and getting to know

How the other one thinks;  how the other one feels-

Even though you are crazy I still love you so.

My behaviour the other day was concerning-

I guess I can't talk to my daughter at all.

If I open up and discuss problems freely

I'm busting down some sort of unfinished wall.

Berlin knew no limits on deep separation.

They built a big wall with an impassible gap,

And I feel that the same thing is happening with Satan

Who chortles and glees and calls each one a sap.

The devil's the enemy who's at work in this trial,

He mixes our words and miscues our intents.

He loves our defeat, our division, our anger,

And divides close families without any sense.

Oh how I cry out to my God in this trial-

I pray that He will some day cause us to see

That all of the misunderstandings and sorrows

Would not have to happen, with humility.

Spider Solitaire

There isn't a day that I don't play a game or two of Spider Solitaire.  I choose the intermediate level, which consists of two colours of cards to sort rather than just one.  The easy level is boring; the difficult level, which I have won only once, is too brain-taxing for me.  The intermediate level is just hard enough to make me think, but not too hard that I do not win most of the time.

I like the sorting.

I like the way the reds go with the reds and the blacks go with the blacks, in order, from King down to Ace.

I wish life was so easy to order.  Wouldn't it be nice if everything fell into place the way the cards in a Spider Solitaire game do?  Wouldn't it be nice if you could hit Control Z and back up when you hit a dead end?  When obstacles get in the road, wouldn't it be nice if there were always a way around them?

When you win the game, it shoots up fireworks onscreen to celebrate the victory!

Wouldn't it be nice if there were fireworks in real life to celebrate accomplishments?

Take heart, my friend.  God has given us the victory through His Son, Jesus Christ.

And some day we'll hear those words, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant.  Enter into the joy of the Lord!"  The fireworks will be flashing!

Spider Solitaire

Not a day goes by

That I don't try

To sort it all out in my world.

Click on red and on black

Don't get too far off track

Or into despair you'll be hurled.

Reach the end of the road?

Use control z mode

To back right up to the start.

Try another way

You'll be here all day

But don't you dare lose heart!

Oh, you've got it, my dear,

You don't have to fear-

See the cards disappear in a flash!

Fireworks seem to say

You've done well today-

Now to the real world you must dash.

Oh. 

The dishes are waiting,

The cheese needs a-grating,

The laundry's piled up like a hill!

Why can't my whole life

As a mother and wife

Be one that shows as much skill

As my solitaire score?

But there is so much more

To a life that pleases my Lord:

He does not even care

If I pull out my hair

It matters not if I've scored.

He says, "Come and rest;

I know that you've messed

Up your life and that your plans are thwarted.

I've gone to the cross

You'll suffer no loss

Trust in Me; it's already all sorted."

Irrepressible Deluge

Irrepressible Deluge

My heart overflows

I can't keep them in

These marvelous phrases

That bubble within.

I've a story to write

A life to record

Meaningful scribbles

Giving praise to my Lord.

Obscurity darkens

This Inscrutable life

I've lived as a mother,

A daughter, and  wife.

Perplexing rapids

Flow o'er stones;

Inexplicable trials

Mix laughter with groans.

The joy's in the journey-

Unfathomable light-

I speed towards the

Heavenly City so bright.

I've a story to tell

Of little old me

And my Thrice Holy Captain's

Zoetic decree.